In
reading Shannon Carter’s fascinating discussion of “Living Inside the Bible
(Belt)," I found myself remembering a time in my life, not so very long ago,
when I was confronted with similar challenges.
Not identical but similar.
My
husband received a job offer to teach a photography course at a liberal arts college
in Chicago (that will remain nameless). He
was led to believe it might result in a permanent position. He is a freelance photographer, and the
promise of regular work was tempting -- so tempting, in fact, that we picked up
and moved. It was temporary, we told
ourselves, an adventure, and an opportunity to find out if we liked Chicago, and
if a still life photographer could make a better living there than here. In the downturns of the economy, we had sold
our house the year before, in order to put our sons through college. I am happy to say that I had the presence of
mind to take a leave of absence from my current teaching position.
I will
not bore you with the sorted details of our sojourn in Chicago. Besides, I am not sure that this blog was
designed with this in mind. (I promise,
Dr. Cauthen, that I will bring this around to Carter’s essay.) I will only say this about Chicago: It is a good city. But it is not my city. I did not like the relative state of
segregation we found there. No one
smiled at the local Whole Foods Market.
The movers stole their tip out of my wallet. We couldn’t afford most of the
restaurants. And we don’t like deep dish
pizza.
We had
been advised to rent a house in a suburb, that will also remain nameless, but that
brings to mind The Stepford Wives. No one returned our smiles or “good morning”
on walks. And when inquiring about a book
club at the local bookstore, I found myself being interviewed and carefully
warned that their club read real books; they weren’t sure that I would like
it. The photography department at this
college told my husband that he must teach all of his classes with portraiture,
and as a still-life photographer, he found all this very, very strange. We lived near a train station, and the lonely
sound of the trains and the serious-suited men and women that got on and off each
day reminding me of a couple of movies from the 1950s: The Man
in the Grey Flannel Suit and Executive
Suite. (Almost everything reminds me
of a movie.) We were lonely and
depressed.
And then
the blizzards began. One after
another. Someone told us that it was the
worst winter they’d had since 1969. It
must have been. I resisted buying warmer
clothes as long as I could, because I knew we were going back.
On December 23rd we were fired.
It was a sad Christmas with a $5.00 tree from Lowe’s.
Our
journey back to Los Angeles began soon after.
We rented a 14 foot Penske truck.
It wasn’t large enough, so we ended up renting an additional one – a 12
footer, which my son would drive. Filling our trucks and our
minivan with everything we could, we still had to leave many of our belongings behind.
Okay,
now begins the part of this experience that correlates with Carter’s
essay: As we drove across country, stuck
for a while, due to a blackout blizzard in a Motel 6 in Vega, Texas, we listened to hours upon hours of the radio – all of us
caravanning in our separate vehicles.
(In full disclosure, I was not alone.
I traveled with two cats who wandered the van freely.) The radio from Missouri to Arizona is predominantly
Christian. There is Christian rock,
Christian country, Christian pop, Christian hip hop, Christian metal (but not death metal), Christian news, Christian
advice, and of course Christian sermons.
My parents
were New York actors. We learned
skepticism and irony. Neither of them
imparted any belief systems on my sister and me beyond Shakespeare. Their rigidity now reminds me of the extreme
professors that Carter writes about, who intolerantly dismiss the Christian
students’ belief systems.
Anyway,
after the coldness, literally and figuratively, with which we were met in
Chicago, I am sure that I was vulnerable.
I listened to all the Christian radio with tears streaming down my
face. Too much snow, perhaps, and too
much bad news. When we drove through the
Texas panhandle, however, I was shocked at the anti-Obama billboards. The negativity of some of this religious
content was frightening.
Finally,
our Grapes of Wrath journey was
over. We drove into Los Angeles and
almost kissed the ground. Moving into
our apartment, however, we realized that we had little time in which to find
work or cash. I had a teaching position
for the fall, but that was six months away.
Extremely motivated, to say the least, I immediately found a Craig’s List posting
for a private school in Torrance in need of a long-term sub. I called and had an appointment that same
day. As I parked, I found myself staring at a cross in front of a small residential Christian school. This was no problem; I
was open, willing, and quite desperate for work.
It was a
little odd, though, considering the many hours I had just heard of Christian
radio. I wondered, briefly, if it was a
sign.
Ushered
into the principal’s office, I was greeted with a smile, sustained eye contact,
and a few questions about my teaching style.
Everything that I said seemed to thrill and delight her. When she summoned her assistant, I
knew I had a chance. “Let’s see what the Lord says about this,”
was the principal’s next utterance. I
followed what was quickly unfolding, and found myself on my knees with them,
holding hands. The prayer that would
seal my current economic fate lasted several minutes. There was part of me that wanted to giggle; I
am not as mature as I look. Another part
of me thought that maybe this whole experience was a sign. This was where I was supposed to be.
Naturally,
I got the job, replacing a good Christian moving to Las Vegas to work in a
casino. I would be teaching all of the
middle school’s language arts classes.
No problem. I felt fairly
confident in what I could offer there.
The
first day of work, everyone stopped to tell me how blessed they were to have
me. I liked this. It was quite different from the coolness of our
Chicago reception – the college and the homogeneous suburb.
The day
began here with prayers on the blacktop. No
problem. Remember that I had heard quite
a few prayers on Route 66. I had made a
few nondenominational ones of my own as I left Chicago behind. I had this.
It would be fine. What surprised
me, however, was that the prayers were for things like the students winning the
next soccer game or that the school’s fundraiser would go well. This was about the time of the tsunamis in
Japan, and our prayers never seemed to cover this part of the world.
On my
second day of work, word was out that I was a great teacher. I think this was due to the following signs
of brilliant teaching pedagogy: I showing
up on time and didn’t put on a DVD from the large stack of Christian-themed
films. With earnest eyes and excitement,
the principal invited me to teach the Bible Studies classes. Keep in mind my background here; no church ever – until I met my husband and we
shopped a bit and dabbled. My
protestations that I was not qualified were perceived as reverence and humility. I was stuck.
I rushed to Barnes and Nobles and bought the contemporary Bible and a
Bible for Dummies.
The
first day of my Bible Studies class, I sat on the table, leaned forward
carefully, and said that this would be a Bible Study class like none they ever
had. “Students,” I proclaimed, “it will
be you teaching me. You will lead
discussions. You will frame our
lessons. I am your student." Again, I was the talk of the teacher’s
lounge. “Students are so excited by your
way of teaching!” No one ever questioned my Biblical knowledge. When discussing the Fruits of the Spirit, for
example, my rhetorical questioning invited discussions and ultimately, what I know best, theatre. “Find a way to bring these
virtues to everyone!” I demanded. Short plays were written and performed.
Now,
those of you who have stuck with my post (saga) this long are waiting to find
how the hell I am going to tie this in to Carter’s essay. I have only one response:
RHETORICAL
DEXTERITY! (Carter 574).
The
strangest thing happened. First I was
overwhelmed, baffled, questioning how I found myself in this strange
position. Then, I wondered if it was a
sign. I had been through so much. Perhaps, this was meant to be. When, however, I realized the lack of
Christian charity toward the suffering of others in our prayers each morning, I was disenchanted.
Yet,
with time, I began to see that these people were doing the best that they
could. I was holding them up to higher
standards, more difficult litmus tests than I should have. I grew to love these students quite fully –
for themselves – imperfect in all the same ways that all students are, and that
I was.
I like
to think that I expanded these students’ thinking. I know that they expanded mine. I had to cultivate an approach and learn to “effectively
read, understand, manipulate, and negotiate the cultural and linguistic codes
of a new community of practice" (Lave and Wenger, quoted by Carter 574), and
through this, I have a far better understanding of what this is like.
In the
fall, I returned to my school district, but a new school with predominantly
Asian students. A large number of these students are from Korea. These
students are often Christian, and I like to think that the five months that I spent
in the Christian school has helped me to guide these students toward openness to
others and toward rhetorical dexterity.
As these students write and discuss literature, I gently guide
them toward thinking about how their belief system informs their choices – even
writing choices. As I work in the public
school system, I tread lightly and carefully, but I know that I cannot ignore
my students’ faith(s). All I can ask
them to do is to deliberately, consciously, and thoughtfully consider how their
beliefs inform their work. How do
they navigate a classroom, school, and community that may or may not mirror
those beliefs?

I was lost in your story :) now I have 20 minutes to finish Edward Said..thanks a lot
ReplyDeleteJennifer: I laughed. I cried. I laughed some more. Thank you. Chicago really lost out....
ReplyDeleteThank you Alyssa and Marge. I will miss our blog and my classmates!
ReplyDelete