12 Readers Reading--David's 4 Seasons

All of the teachers who read David's paper found similar strengths and weaknesses in his writing.  The person who was easiest on him was Gere because she noted that he had excellent descriptions even though they are somewhat vague.  Even though she is the least hardest on him, I think she helps him the least.  Every other teacher gave examples of the way that his descriptions were too vague or cliched and I think that helps a writer way more than a "good job" and a brief critique.  I think students need examples because often they do not understand the lingo that we take for granted.  Stewart gave one of the best responses I think because his examples are numerous.  He really put time and energy into trying to help the student as opposed to justifying his grade.  I also like how White referred to David's writing as too "greeting card".  I think that is a very accurate evaluation of the text.

I did notice however that only 2 of the teachers (Stewart and Anson) actually gave David a grade, which was a C.  I think that is a pretty fair grade for this quality of work and Anson, his actual professor, would know best as to what David deserved.  Anson notes the conversations they had during peer evaluations and the changes that David failed to make, which I and the other teachers were obviously unaware of.

Anson does note a problem with the assignment itself, that was unbeknownst to the other teachers because they did not get to read the other students' from the class' work.  The problem is the overlap of two writing genres: expository and narrative.  Not only David, but the other students had trouble with a search for voice..is it personal? Or should they have objective involvement.  David obviously struggles with this throughout his descriptions.  

All in all, my evaluation was pretty spot on with the other professors, but no one noted his use of you/your except Gere who actually liked it.  I have always taught my students to avoid it because it is too informal for academic writing.  I still think it is; therefore, I disagree with Gere.  I asked to hear more of David's voice and provided examples like the other teachers, just maybe didn't explain it as effectively as they did due to my lack of experience.  However, I think my lack of experience helped me come across less pissed off like it seemed some of the other teachers felt (especially Anson).  I think as teachers grades essay after essay, semester after semester, they often become jaded.  What I noted from the responses is that I don't want my own irritations (they should really get this by now, I've been explaining it for years!) to discourage my students from believing that they can become better writers.